Filed under: it's just me. you dont have to care.
because you’re here, it won’t mean we are together.
you’re here because you have to be here for reasons i’d rather not know. they’ll just confuse me and make me hope for something as good as charity.
i am here because i do not want you to think that i do not want to be here. sometimes it might mean the other way around when we are tired.
but you and i both know that we are not here.
you know we are somewhere.
you’re there.
and i am here, or so i thought.
Filed under: cw posts
The waste basket is under the study table, beside Belinda’s bed. Belinda thinks it is best placed there.
In the waste basket, there are one or two crumpled pages which Belinda stole from her diary which she burned the day she realized she can never be civil towards her gay bestfriend who confessed that he is in love with her.
The hairs she cut on that fair Tuesday are carelessly slid in an old dusty envelope.
The pieces of the broken sunglasses she sat on the other day are inside the Watsons’ green cellophane.
The wrappers of Belvita Milk Biscuit are also there in the waste basket–the one Belinda missed to throw inside is under her bed traced by the good ants.
A bottle of Johnson’s Baby Powder is among the trash while the luminous red box of Macadamia is flaunted open, empty.
Filed under: it's just me. you dont have to care.
early this morning, i realized something. actually i have been thinking quite about Jim, the main character of the novel i’m reading and Dido’s song, white flag. like black coffee and royal true orange, they are mixed up somewhere there in the skies i created in my head. coffee and orange do make smell when i pee (really…). it makes me smile,though. anyway, first, i realized that Jim the boy is so much like the girl i was back then. it’s not that he is gay! or that i’m gay! hahaha! i mean, in a way that, i think, we have the same dreams as a child. and…Dido’s white flag, ehem. whether i like it or not, i’m in love. i’m always in love. it is either with myself, or to someone or something else. but, mind you, i do not believe Dido. i know she lied. and i know i lied too.
once upon a time, i thought i’ll sing Dido’s white flag for the longest of time. but i thought, i’m really too young to have thought of such crap… and i know it was my way to justify myself. oh i was such a liar. a child. a little girl who thought she could eat the stars. but that was also the same time she thought she could reach them. just like Jim.
so i bid my farewell to Jim the boy and to Dido’s white flag. i’ve been really feeling happy these days i can’t look back anymore…never will…not at all.
Lol!!
